Gratitude in Darkness

I walk the dog every morning. He's not what you'd call a 'late sleeper'.  He's up before 6 am every blessed day.  Rather than fight the power that be Bruno, I just decided to roll with it.  At first, it definitely sucked, but it was this getting up super early that paved the way for my daily early morning yoga practice and for that, I am grateful beyond words.

It's getting to be that time of year again when it's dark outside when we start walking. Like really dark.  About 20 years ago, I expereinced a traumatic incident that involved me walking alone.  Ever since, even when I know I am safe, I always feel a little uneasy walking by myself.  Bruno helps, but that unease is still there.  Although longing for brighter mornings, we set out for our walk everyday anyway, but it's much more comfortable when it's light out. This transitional time of year is very uncomfortable.

Given that my senses were heightened from the walk, yoga time is extra welcome to sooth the soul. When I get to the yoga room (aka, office/guest room/craft room with the furniture moved aside), I sit down to read my text for the day and stumble onto a message that fits me for this moment.  It's about how postures are never ending.  We flow from one posture to another, but the in-between part isn't really separate.  The space in-between, the transition, is part of the posture.

It get me thinking about the pose i love to hate. I have been in transition with chaturanga dandasana  for many many years.  It's not comfortable. It never feels right or good.  But we're developing the relationship.  I recently started putting my knees down but keeping a flat back to try to coax my shoulders into the sweet spot.  It feels like I've been in transition with this pose forever. On this particular morning, thinking about transitions, I am mid-flow from half-chaturanga dandasana , to urdhva mukha svasana,up dog, when I notice the sunrise.  So, I'm thinking about transitions metaphorically when a very real moment happens mid-transition.  

The sun is peeking its orangey yellow light up between the trees. It's breathtaking and I have never seen it from this room before. I immediately stopped what I was doing to grab my camera and try to capture it to share with you, but it wasn't coming through on camera.  Then I realized that this little gift was only visible by me mid posture change during this moment in time.  A moment that would not be possible if I were stuck in one place or in one season. If it were lighter earlier, I would have missed it.  If the chaturanga-up dog transition were faster, I may not have noticed it.  So, I put the camera down and got back to the perfect spot for that morning, right in the middle of the transitions.